As sun beams started dancing on his eyelids, he had no choice but to open them. Birds were joyfully singing, unaware of the bundle of thoughts going through his mind, and heart. He looked at the empty space in his bed; she’s not there. She had been though, only two minutes ago, planting a kiss on his forehead whispering sweet words into his ears in vain attempts to wake him up. He didn’t want to wake up; he knew very well that if he did she will not be there and he will be left to look unto an empty cold space.
He closed his eyes again, and reminded himself that this is too risky. Dreams mean nothing; he was sure he had no feelings for her, or did he? No, no he didn’t. He had to keep reminding himself of this solid unbeatable fact. Yet what a sweet thought it is– a thought that had to be oppressed, suppressed, and suffocated.
“What a beautiful morning,” he thought to himself as he thrust his body upwards to look out the window. He adjusted his posture and sat on his bed making it easier for him to enjoy the view. He sat looking at the cars, many cars, just going their way; many people, many stories, many secrets, and many suppressed feelings perhaps.
Something was coming on to him. It was big and colorful and strong and poisonous. He tried to push it away. He had been pushing it away for god knows how long now. It was coming, creeping through his body, bit by bit, atom by atom, and he was struggling to resist, fight, and not surrender, when all of a sudden, his will broke down into a million little pieces. He could not do it anymore; he was beaten, tired, summed up, drained, and exhausted. Maybe he doesn’t want to be strong anymore. Maybe he had been trying to oppose something that has always been meant to be.
And he let go. The creeping turned into racing, and the sweet addictive sensation took all over his mind, body, and consciousness. He found himself submerged in a strange kind of ecstasy, something he had never felt before; a natural high. His brain did not function and all he could feel was emotions and sensations that all were new to him. No, they were not new, he knew very well that they were old but newly acknowledged.
“I love her,”
he muttered, and what a relief it was! He knew that she was waiting for him, and he didn’t want to keep her waiting any more.
In a frenzy, he looked for his cell. What should he say? How should he say it? “Less is more,” he thought, and started pressing the buttons to make the words he never thought he will ever say in his life: “I’m in love with you”
Add recipient– send.
He sat there, full of happiness, not believing what he just did. But he did it, and soon everything will break loose, and the self-made prison will evaporate into the air. Nervous? Damn right he was! Oh but what a thrilling kind of nervousness it was.
His cell lit up, and the sound took him by surprise. “1 New Message.” He froze, not knowing what to do, too scared to take the next step. This is it; the moment he had been waiting for. He summoned up all his courage and pressed the button.
The words on the screen stared at him mockingly. They taunted him, and brought him back to reality. They made fun of his cowardice, just as they had made fun of his spur-of-the-moment courage.
“Message failed to deliver”
He sat motionless for a second. Nothing, absolutely nothing was going through his mind.
It was then that a faint smile drew itself on his dark visage, and he went back to sleep in spite of the sun that was shining through the window.
